the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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