So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
