Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
