Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
