i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
