barbara walters just said penis...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
