so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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