I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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