the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have fence marks all over my body
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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