I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
