this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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