He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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