I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
