I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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