Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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