Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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