thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
