Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
