Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
