A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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