today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
