Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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