is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
