All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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