I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
