Barsexuality is the new black.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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