Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
