At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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