just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
