i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
