"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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