i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
