After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
