eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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