I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
