Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
