dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
