I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
