there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
