so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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