why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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