how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
