I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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