So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
did you just send me my own nude
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
