She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
