about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
