So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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