he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
