Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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