Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
