he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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