The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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