everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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